Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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