I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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