I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You may now shotgun with the bride
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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