it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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