I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
