they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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