So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
