sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
