Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
