i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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