I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
