Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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