Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
