for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
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