Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
