guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Who died my cat blue again?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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