We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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