If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
