Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
