Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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