dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
