Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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