Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
