You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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