My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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