I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
