Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
