Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
