the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
