Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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