i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize