So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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