You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
