She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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