It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
