Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
