we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
