just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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