i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
