It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
