she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
