Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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