I will die if light touches me.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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