Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
