You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
