Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
