I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
