They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
