I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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