Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
