Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
