Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The air was thick with penises
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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