drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize