apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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