apparently the secret to your success is patron
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he was CRYING into my vagina
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize