i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
