she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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