Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
