so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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